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Outrageous Office Pens Party Gift by Hott Products
- $29.99
- $29.99
- Unit price
- per
Featuring durable plastic barrels and smooth ballpoint ink, Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens deliver five assorted designs with bold comedic statements that spark laughter and conversation at work or home.
Key Features:
Five assorted sayings spark authentic laughter and memorable workplace bonding.
Smooth ballpoint ink writes flawlessly without skipping across paper.
Bold messaging signals confidence that attracts partners through authenticity.
Durable plastic construction withstands constant sharing and daily handling.
Visible text reads clearly at a glance for immediate impact.
Vendor:
Hott Products
SKU:
NEW-11747
Availability:
Out Of Stock
Product type:
Party Gifts and Novelties
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Five assorted novelty office pens with bold, explicit statements printed on the barrel. Hand them out to spark laughter, break workplace tension, and instantly filter for people who share your dark sense of humour. Smooth-writing ballpoints that turn ordinary desk moments into memorable social moments.
Why choose the Outrageous Novelty Office Pens by Hott
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What it does
These pens transform ordinary writing into a comedic statement. Each ballpoint delivers smooth ink flow across paper without skipping, while durable plastic barrels in classic shapes feel comfortable during extended writing sessions. Sayings include "Actually, just fuck off," "I wish I could fukin spell," "Hands off my pen, bitch," "These stupid fucks think I'm working," and "I wanna fucking go home." Bold text sits prominently on the barrel so every word reads clearly at a glance.
Borrowing a pen becomes an instant icebreaker that generates genuine laughter. People read the messages aloud and react with shock mixed with amusement. Humour cuts through workplace monotony and social awkwardness in seconds. Shared laughter builds connection and lowers defenses, creating genuine chemistry without explicit contact. Party Themed Dolls pair well with these for a complete novelty gift collection.
Specifications
- Quantity: 5 assorted pens per pack
- Material: Durable plastic barrel with ballpoint tip
- Ink: Standard black ballpoint refill
- Length: Approximately 5.5 inches (standard office pen size)
- Sayings: Five different explicit messages per set
Fit and sizing
Standard office pen dimensions suit any hand size and grip preference. At approximately 5.5 inches long, these fit comfortably during extended writing sessions without fatigue. Classic plastic barrels feel natural in your palm whether you use a tight grip or relaxed hold. Cockringshop specialises in products for men and couples, and these novelty pens work equally well as personal desk items or gifts for workmates and partners. No sizing requiredājust place them where people will notice the sayings and enjoy the reaction when they read them.
How to use it
Place these pens visibly on your desk where coworkers, friends, or partners will naturally notice them. Position the barrel so the saying faces outward and reads clearly at a glance. When someone asks to borrow a pen, hand them one with the boldest message that matches their personality. Watch their face as they read the statementāthe initial shock transforms into laughter when they realise you're serious.
Build tension by casually mentioning you have "special pens" without revealing the sayings. Let curiosity draw them in. When they finally read the message, their reaction becomes the payoff. Use different pens with different people based on their sense of humourāsomeone uptight gets "Actually, just fuck off," while someone stressed gets "I wanna fucking go home." Wipe the barrel clean occasionally and store upright to prevent leaking.
Feature breakdown
| Feature | Specification | Benefit | Experience |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ink delivery | Standard black ballpoint refill | Smooth, skip-free writing on any paper | Reliable performance every time you write |
| Barrel construction | Durable plastic in classic pen shape | Comfortable grip during extended use | Natural feel in your hand without fatigue |
| Text visibility | Bold sayings printed prominently on barrel | Message reads clearly at a glance | Immediate impact when someone picks up the pen |
| Pack contents | Five different explicit messages per set | Customise your approach for different people | Genuine laughter and memorable social moments |
Who it suits
These pens suit anyone with a sharp sense of humour and zero tolerance for corporate bullshit. You're confident enough to express cynicism openly without apology. You work in environments where dark humour bonds people together, and you want conversation starters that filter for people who match your energy. You appreciate authenticity and enjoy using humour to build genuine connection with others.
Skip these if you work in formal, conservative environments where explicit language will damage your professional reputation. They're not suited to workplaces with strict conduct codes or colleagues who don't share your sense of humour. If you're uncomfortable with profanity or prefer subtle approaches to conversation, these bold statements aren't for you. They're designed for people who lean into irreverence and value genuine expression over corporate polish.
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Tested and quality-checked Every new line we stock is inspected by hand before it goes live ā we check the build, the finish, and the materials, and we confirm it is safe and fit for how it will be used. Nothing is used for its intended purpose; it is examined, checked, and re-boxed. What that means for you is simple: you receive a piece we have already vetted, not a guess off a supplier's pallet. See how we test every product ā |
How it compares
Novelty office pens with explicit statements differ from standard corporate pens by prioritising humour and social connection over pure writing function. Standard pens blend into the background; these spark conversation and laughter instantly. Party Up offers complementary novelty gifts that work alongside these pens to create a complete gift collection for people with bold personalities. Both approaches use humour to build connectionāchoose pens for everyday desk use and gifts for bigger social impact.
| Please read ā safety first. Put the ring on before you are fully erect and use plenty of water-based lubricant so it slides on without pinching. Keep wear time short ā no more than 20 minutes while you are getting used to it, and never fall asleep wearing one. Take it off straight away if you feel numbness, coldness, a change in colour, or any pain, as these mean blood flow has been cut off too far. This information is general in nature only and is not medical or professional advice, and does not take your personal circumstances into account. Stop use and speak with a qualified medical professional if you have a relevant health condition, take medication for erectile function or blood pressure, or notice pain, numbness, or discolouration that does not settle. |
What you can use it with
Pair these novelty pens with Couples Intimacy Kits to create a complete gift package for partners or couples who share your sense of humour. The pens work as conversation starters and icebreakers, while intimacy kits deepen connection and build on the chemistry those moments create. Together, they signal confidence, authenticity, and a willingness to step outside conventional boundariesāqualities that enhance genuine intimacy and shared laughter between partners.
More from Hott Products
Hott Products creates novelty gifts and party items designed for people who don't take themselves too seriously. Browse the full range for more conversation starters, icebreakers, and gifts that spark genuine laughter and connection in any setting.
Read more before you buy
Want to explore more about novelty gifts and how humour builds connection? Meghan Dunkel Evolved Novelties covers gift ideas and social strategies on the Adultsmart blog.
Why buy the Outrageous Novelty Office Pens by Hott Products
Want firmer, longer-lasting results without the guesswork? Order the Outrageous Novelty Office Pens by Hott Products from The Cock Ring Store today. Every item is genuine, function-tested, and quality-checked before dispatch. Cockringshop delivers discreetly in unmarked packaging so your order arrives private and secure. The specialist store for rings, cages, and male enhancement ā discreetly delivered. The Cock Ring Store ships discreetly Australia-wide.
Shipping Information & Policy
Cockringshop.com.au ships with Australia Post. We ship from Sydney.
All in-stock orders placed before 12pm AEST (Sydney Time) on business days are generally processed on the same day. Packages are usually received 1-6 business days after shipping, but may subject to any postage carrier related delays beyond our control.
Free standard shipping on orders shipped within Australia above $200. For orders below $200 standard shipping within Australia is $12.95 and will be added at checkout.
Orders addressed to P.O box, G.P.O box or Parcel Collect will be handled by Australia Post. Extra time should be allocated for these orders.
Shipping Transit Times (Including Free Shipping)
Shipping time refers to the estimated time that it will take to deliver your order after itās ready to ship (Please note this does not include time to process your order). Shipping time does not commence after your order is put through but begins the moment your order has been processed and is ready to dispatch via the our freight carrier..
1. Major City & Metro Areas (within Australia)
All in stock orders are generally processed on the same day the order was placed on business days for orders received before 12pm. Generally, orders are processed and shipped the same day or next business day.
Orders are typically received 1-6 business days after shipping. For larger packages please allow an extra 1-2 business days for delivery.
If no one is available at your delivery address to accept your order a second delivery may be scheduled or you will be notified that your order can be collected from the nearest depot location.
2. Rural Areas (within Australia)
All orders are generally processed on the same day the order was placed on business days before 12pm.
Generally, orders are processed and shipped the same day or next Business day.
Packages below 2kg are usually received 3-6 business days after shipping. For larger packages please allow an extra 1-2 business days for delivery.
If no one is available at your delivery address to accept your order a second delivery may be scheduled or you will be notified that your order can be collected from the local Australia Post depot.
International Shipping
The price for international shipping is AU$12.95 for orders equal to or below 0.399kg (399grams), and AU$22.95 for orders with a total weight equal to or above 0.4kg (400 grams).
All in-stock orders placed before 12pm AEST (Sydney Time) on business days are generally processed on the same day. Packages are usually received 6-30 business days after shipping.Ā
If no one is available at your delivery address to accept your order a second delivery may be scheduled or you will be notified that your order can be collected from your nearest delivery depot.
Please note in regards to all orders
ā These expected delivery dates/times are based on carrier shipping practices, your destination, and the items in your order.
ā Expected delivery dates are estimates. Orders can be delayed due to fraud verification or the time of the order being placed. Items that are not regularly stocked cannot be held to the expected delivery dates.
ā Orders may be delivered in separate shipments.
ā The order cut off times are based on normal Business Hours and exclude weekends and Holidays:Ā Monday ā Friday 12 pm
ā When your order ships you will receive an email from us with a link to track your order. Ā If you receive your tracking number before 6 pm (AEST) it may not be updated on the Carrierās website until that evening.
Due to large amounts of online credit card fraud, all orders are subject to approval by our paymentĀ verification department. We will notify you by phone or email should your order be delayed.
Returns Policy
We have a 14 day return policy, which means you have 14 days after receiving your item to request a refund for any defective products.
Returns and exchanges are only available for faulty items, goods not as described, or in some instances, for incorrect sizing.
Due to health and safety regulations, cockringshop.com.au cannot resell any returned or exchanged products.
This policy is in place to prioritise your well-being and ensure that you receive the highest standard of hygiene and quality in all products.
To be eligible for a refund, your item must be in the same condition that you received it, unworn or unused, with tags, and in its original packaging.
Youāll also need the receipt or proof of purchase. We do not issue refunds for change of mind or incorrect choice.
Under Australian Consumer Law, we are not obliged to accept returns for āincorrect choiceā or āchange of mindā so please choose your products carefully.
Any freight and insurance costs to return the item to us are at your expense. This includes the liability for any lost freight ā send via registered post.
If your return request is accepted, we will provide you with all instructions on how and where to send your package. Items sent back to us without first requesting a return will not be accepted.
Damages and issues
Please inspect your order upon reception and contact us immediately if the item is defective, damaged or if you receive the wrong item, so that we can evaluate the issue and make it right.
Exceptions / non-returnable items
We do not accept returns for any products that have change of mind, damaged products, or for products that have been used or do not have their original packaging.
Please get in touch if you have questions or concerns about your specific item.
Unfortunately, we cannot accept returns on sale items or gift cards.
Refunds
We will notify you once weāve received and inspected your return, and let you know if the refund was approved or not. If approved, youāll be automatically refunded on your original payment method within 7 business days.
Please remember it can take some time for your bank or credit card company to process and post the refund
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens set and why are they different from standard desk supplies?
Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens are five assorted ballpoint pens featuring explicit, humorous sayings on each barrel. These aren't ordinary writing instrumentsāthey're conversation starters designed to break workplace tension through dark comedy. Smooth ink flow pairs with bold messaging that signals confidence and authenticity. In our experience selling novelty items, customers report these pens become memorable icebreakers that filter for people matching their energy and sense of humor.
Why do these Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens create genuine connection with colleagues and potential partners?
Laughter triggers dopamine release that mimics early-stage attraction, making humor genuinely aphrodisiac. Each pen's explicit saying demonstrates you're comfortable with sexuality and won't hide authentic desires. Customers tell us that sharing these pens creates oxytocin-driven bonding that translates into deeper chemistry. Someone who laughs with you is already halfway to genuine intimacy. Bold messaging signals self-acceptance that attracts compatible people at a subconscious level.
Does the Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens set include five different sayings or repeated messages?
Five unique explicit messages appear across the set: "Actually, just fuck off," "I wish I could fukin spell," "Hands off my pen, bitch," "These stupid fucks think I'm working," and "I wanna fucking go home." Durable plastic barrels display bold text prominently so every word reads clearly at a glance. Personalizing pen selection based on each person's personality demonstrates genuine understanding. After selling hundreds of these, we've found the variety ensures fresh conversation starters with diverse personalities.
Are the Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens suitable for uptight corporate workplaces or only relaxed environments?
Most wearers of attitude-forward accessories thrive in environments where dark humor bonds people together. These pens suit anyone with sharp cynicism and zero tolerance for corporate bullshit who won't apologize for authenticity. Standard office settings with rigid professionalism requirements aren't compatible with their unapologetic messaging. Perfect for workplaces where people use humor as genuine foreplay and connection-building. They're conversation catalysts that naturally filter for your people.
How should you position the Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens on your desk to maximize their icebreaker impact?
Place pens visibly on your desk where coworkers and potential partners naturally notice them, with sayings facing outward for immediate visibility. Build tension by casually mentioning you have "special pens" without revealing the messages first. When someone finally reads the statement, their reaction becomes the genuine connection moment. Hand different pens to different people based on their personality and stress level. Smooth ballpoint ink performs flawlessly during every borrowed-pen interaction.
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